Over Thinking Will Make You Stall

Over Thinking Will Make You Stall

How do you even find peace when your mind is constantly overthinking? I’m the type of person that will fight to see something all the way through. My mind has laser focus. Once my mind is set on something, nothing can change its direction. This comes as an advantage when i’m focused on trying to reach my dreams. When I set a goal for myself, I am able to complete it. When my mind begins to overthink, I cant find rest until everything gets solved.

 

Lately, I have been encountering a lot of obstacles in my walk through life. As I enter my early 20’s, i’m already weighed down by responsibilities. Sometimes I question if I can even handle leadership. All these challenges cause me to overthink. I can go a whole day just thinking. Sometimes, I think of every situation and scenario. Most of the time i’m stuck thinking about one major issue. I face a lot of major issues. Everyday, I play out every possible outcome in my head. I picture what a good outcome would look like. I imagine what a bad outcome would look like. All this over thinking is causing me to stress out. It leaves me tired, overwhelmed, and depressed. I feel so low. I’m so down, that everyone around me is worried.

 

I used to be a very energetic person. The ADHD had a lot to do with it. I was always smiling. I laughed hard and loud. I spread joy. I made people’s day. Everything changed. The world is constantly changing. If i’m being honest with myself, I changed. I turned upsidedown. I have never felt so lost and insecure in my life. I feel like the only feeling I know and understand is loneliness. I keep quiet. I keep to myself. They say the happiest people are also the saddest people. They say people that are extremely happy are happy because they know what it is like to be miserable. I can personally say that both claims are true. I was happy because I knew what sadness felt like. I know what it feels like to be alone. I was constantly rejected. No one understood me. No one appreciated me. No one believed in me. Being miserable is ugly. I fought really hard to give people my happiness because I didn’t want them to feel what I felt. No one deserves to be miserable.

 

I met a girl who was more than just your average girl. She was a princess of God. When I found her, she was broken. She was afraid. She was lost. She was everything I fought so hard to take away from people. I fell in love with her. I wanted her to smile again. I wanted her to be happy. I wanted her to believe again. I wanted to build her up. I wanted to give her hope again. I believed in her. The world left her broken. Afraid to love again. I knew it wasn’t easy, but I was determined to fight for her. People hurt her in the past. She built a wall around her heart so she wouldn’t get hurt anymore. She was afraid that I would hurt her just like everyone else did. I understand that. It’s ok. She was probably terrified when she realized how close I was to her heart. Love is a gamble. You open up to a person without knowing the outcome. They either love you back or they break you. That risk terrified her. The idea of getting hurt again by the guy that loved her was scary. She pushed me away. She refused to let me get close to her. I wasn’t able to prove to her that love is real. I wasn’t able to save her. I wasn’t able to keep her heart. I was incapable of breaking down the walls.

 

I lost a princess. This caused every human emotion to go off inside of me. I had a complete breakdown. I was feeling everything intensely. My mind has never processed so many possibilities in one day. I was mad at myself. I was disappointed. I was broken. I was sad. I was alone. I was lost. I had never encountered a situation of this magnitude. I was overthinking. What could I have done better? Where did I go wrong? How do I fix this? Who can help me? What can I possibly do? What if I make things worse? This entire situation hit me hard. Most people would’ve given up if they were in my shoes. This situation just made me want to fight harder. I wanted to believe more. I was willing to wait longer. This situation just caused me to go into overdrive. To get a princess. That is what my mind was set on.

 

I learned a lot about myself in the past couple of days. I saw what I was capable of. I didn’t know i was that strong. I didn’t know I was that determined. I realized how big and strong my faith is. I saw how much fight was in me. The obstacles I am currently facing are building me. God made me that promise. He would build me up in preparation for my blessings, leadership, and dreams. Even as I walk through the desert, God keeps showing me signs. I know that all my promises are getting closer. In your eyes, I lost a princess. God tells me a different story. My defeat is God’s victory. I don’t understand this whole situation, but in the end, everything that I have been fighting for will come to be.

 

Reflection

 

Sometimes we allow the obstacles to knock us down. We give in to the opposition. We surrender ourselves deliberately to defeat. We need to be ruthless when it comes down to the things we want. A person who fights, is a person who wins. A defeat does not mean everything is over. A defeat should drive you. It should fuel your determination. Every defeat gets you closer to your victory. Keep score. Your victory is bound to come. Focus on the fight. What do you really want? Go get it. Dont overthink. Overthinking will make you stall.

 

Pray to God and ask him to give you peace. Give all your worries to God. With faith, tell God what your heart desires.

 

1 Peter 5:7

 

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

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About author

Florentino Castellanos
Florentino Castellanos 56 posts

Florentino Castellanos, or Tino for short, is the Founder of The Heart Of Worship Project. Florentino is a self taught musician since the age of 7. Florentino has been serving as a worship leader for over 5 years. Florentino graduated from Musicians Institute, Hollywood with a certificate in Audio Engineering. Florentino's dream is to change the world through music for God. Florentino is known for having an incredible amount of Faith in God.

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